From seeing pregnant patients, or patients who have delivered in the past, I’ve learned one thing- this process may not go as expected, but I am doing the best I can. Yes, I have expectations and hopes for the way things will go, but it may not happen as I expect. I have seen TOO MANY mothers beat themselves up over past pregnancies, deliveries, and things done in their children’s early years, and while I am going to learn as much as I can, I want to be at peace with the reality that I am not perfect. We all make mistakes, and life throws unexpected curveballs, but the more we dwell and beat ourselves up over those things, the less energy we have to invest in our current lives.
For example:
1) The “perfect” delivery. I haven’t had a baby yet, but what I’ve seen countless times is how women beat themselves up over not having a perfect birth. I am doing everything I can to set myself up for a successful, natural water birth... but if it doesn’t happen, it’s okay. At the end of the day, my husband and I want a healthy baby, healthy mama, anda safe delivery. I am keeping my expectations high but also realistic. I have been getting monthly acupuncture, weekly chiropractic appointments and keeping up with my nutrition and supplements, but I know things always don’t go as planned and I am okay with it. I don’t want to spend months or even years beating myself up over what I “could have done” to have the perfect birth. Instead, I want to go into the birthing process with realistic expectations!
2) The “perfect” nutrition. This is a funny one for me. Before pregnancy, I was a pretty big stickler about the foods I ate. I still am, but have relaxed a little bit...and it has been a healthy thing for me. I haven’t started eating junk all the time, but I do have a treat here and there. I also eat more grains than I used to, but try to maintain a healthy balance of whole food nutrition. I thought when I got pregnant I would eat even better than before… LOL! Your taste buds and stomach have a mind of their own. For the first twelve weeks I ate whatever sounded good because NOTHING sounded good at the time. I made smoothies that were packed full of nutrients but also had sweets and treats I rarely touched before being pregnant. So my perfectionist, only eat raw, organic nutrient-dense food self went out the window.
3) The “perfect” nursery. Can we talk about Pinterest baby rooms!?! They make you feel like a failure if you don’t have every book, picture and blanket in their perfect place. I let the “perfect nursery” expectation go a long time ago! We have a bed, washed sheets and clothes, and THAT is a success. It isn’t the perfect baby room but guess what… our little boy won’t know the difference! So if you enjoy decorating and find it fun- go for it! If it causes you stress and anxiety (like it did when I was looking things up), let it go. Babies don’t care, I promise!
If you’ve been putting pressure on yourself to be the perfect wife, mom, interior designer, and health expert throughout your pregnancy-- I hope this post encourages you to let go and breathe! You are doing a good job! Prioritize the most important things and let the rest of it fall by the wayside. You can do this-- not perfectly, but with love and grace and strength! And that’s all that matters.